Confused. Disappointed. Numb.
These three words perfectly describe what I am currently feeling. After leaving, what some may consider, a good job in the private sector and obtaining a “good gubment job” I can’t help but feel more confused than ever. Growing up a lot of people were told that government jobs were stable, the ideal, and that once you get it you’ll keep rising while reaping the financial rewards. I can attest that these things may be true but it’s also true that it’s extremely easy to get comfortable quickly and end up feeling as though days are passing you by while doing the same mundane tasks. As a confused millennial who has no idea of what they want to do in life as of now, it can be a hard pill to swallow each time you try a new job/career only to realize you aren’t good at it or it’s not a good fit for you. I’d remember always laughing and scolding older people who got into the government and stayed in until they retired only to tell stories about how dull and routine their daily work lives were and how they just stayed so that they could retire with an adequate amount of savings. After only 6 months I feel as though I have quickly become very comfortable and and lazy work-wise and physically like,i’m sure, many people did and still do.
It’s an extremely confusing space to be in when you’ve prayed endlessly for an opportunity only to obtain it and become lazy and feel unfulfilled. Also, questioning yourself about if you are just a job -hopping quitter or right on track for what God has in store. The fear of disappointing family members, naysayers judging you, and an overall loss of confidence in your abilities are all things that stress me out regularly and I know I can’t be the only one. In my previous job, an older coworker told me “You’re young get out while you can! If I was your age with few responsibilities I would be out seeing what I want to do with my life.” Every time I have left a job I have always found my footing rather quickly and seemingly “stepped up” when transitioning to another job/position financially and location wise. The question now is: what do I do now? Am I just being a quitter? Should I stick it out? Am I just lazy? Should I just continue until I find what I am truly passionate about? So many questions but it can all become a lot to bear when you know that God has a greater plan for you but you’re wondering if you should just up and leave and have faith or stay still and wait on God to move in your life.
Lately my friends have been professing and manifesting good fortune and events into their lives and I’ve realized that I have fallen off the boat and need to began professing that I have clarity and peace of mind through all of this. Also, that whatever will happen, will happen and that I have to have faith that it’s all working out for the greater good. It’s rather refreshing to realize that down the line I will be able to thank God for the confusion because it taught me how to trust Him and have faith in Him. I’m sure i’m not the only one feeling this way and I hope that others are able to get to the root of those feelings and not settle for something they know isn’t right for them.
Be encouraged and stay positive!
Kim's Korner 